marriage

Hi everyone! I was absent for some time, but now I’m back. And I want to write today about one of my favorite topics: marriage! Oh yes! That’s such a big source of both joy and trouble for many people and specially for women that there’s really much to be said on that.
So, let’s start saying once more that originally women were free in vedic culture to choose their own husband: "The woman who is of gentle birth and of graceful form," so runs a verse in the Rig Veda, "selects among many of her loved one as her husband.” The term for the bridegroom was vara, the chosen one. ”The happy and beautiful bride chooses (vanute) by herself (svayam) her own husband" RV (27.12). The swayamvaras of the princesses are well documented.
Of course there could be interference of family also, but the opinion of the woman would always be considered. And one more point that we can understand from this freedom of choice is that the woman was not a child, or she could not have the maturity to choose her own husband! Usually marriage would take time not too early in a woman’s life, nor too late. Although we know also that some woean could get married late on her life, like Gosha, a well known female sage (her husband being another well known scholar of that time, Kakasivan)who got married late cause she earlier suffered from some skin ailment. As discussed before, women also had the option of not getting married at all, if they wanted to remain single.
Once again, what we can see is that vedic society is one of freedom and respect for women and for all living beings, where everyone has duties according to its nature and position, but also have freedom to choose their position according to their nature, as well as behave according to their personality.

child marriage

“There is very little evidence of child (or infant) marriage in the Rig Veda. A girl was married at 16 or more years of age, when her physical development was complete. Marriage was solemnized soon after marriage. The Vedic rituals presuppose that the married pair was grown up enough to be lovers, man and wife, and parents of children (marriage hymn 140 and 141). These go to show that a girl was married after she attained puberty. Surya, the daughter of Surya (the Sun), was married to Soma (the Moon), only when she became youthful and yearned for a husband.
The Rig-Veda (v, 7, 9) refers to young maidens completing their education as brahmacharins and then gaining husbands. The Vedas say that an educated girl should be married to an equally educated man “An unmarried young learned daughter should be married to a bridegroom who like her is learned. Never think of giving in marriage a daughter of very young age’” (RV 3.55.16).” *
Child marriage, probably, became common because girls entering puberty were often kidnapped in the lawless middle ages. None of our scriptures suggests that girls should be married off when they are kids. Indeed a certain maturity is expected of women who are married. As an example, we have this remarkable sloka: “O bride! May you be like the empress of your mother-in-law, father-in-law, sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law (sisters and brothers of the groom). May your writ run in your house.” Rigveda Samhita Part -4, sukta 85, sloka 9712 **

* http://ssubbanna.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/10/rig-veda-position-of-women-2-2.htm
** Raghbendra Jha - Women and the Vedas - http://www.ivarta.com/columns/OL_070503.htm