women as leaders

It is not uncommon to listen to a nice speech from educated Indians (especially Indian men) regarding the exalted position of women in their culture. They say that women are the basis of the society, the role of the mother is the most important in the world, and they cite the feminine qualities like softness of speech, kindness, gracefulness, etc. Many like to stress the importance of respect and honor women… as far as they are very passive, submissive, soft, and understanding enough to never even speak against any of their misdeeds. They say the family is a woman’s responsibility, since the success of a marriage depends on her alone – that means, her capacity to tolerate all misbehavior with a smile on her face and keep her chastity and submission no matter what the man does. That is just slavery (not very well) disguised as respect.
The so-called traditional people say that the man is the head and should give directions and make the decisions for the family (usually the excuse is to “protect” women, as if they were stupid and could not decide by themselves). In that context, I wonder what is the meaning of the text from the Athravaveda Samhita, Part 2, Kanda 27, sukta 107, sloka 5705: “The sun god follows the first illuminated and enlightened goddess Usha (dawn) in the same manner as men emulate and follow women.” If, according to the tradition, women should follow men, what does this text mean exactly?
Maybe we can search for something more… clear. Let’s see this one, from the Atharva 14.1.61: “Hey bride! You shall bring bliss to all and direct our homes towards our purpose of living”. So does she should bring bliss to all through the obedience of everyone’s order? No. She should bring bliss by directing the family toward the purpose of life. Krsna says in the Bhagavad Gita that among women, He is the intelligence, since intelligence is a feminine quality – let’s remember that the personification of wisdom is not a God but a Goddess, Sarasvati. The wife, dharmapatni, is supposed to lead the husband in the spiritual path; as representative of Laksmi she should take care of the finances; as a daughter-in-law, she should be treated with the highest respect (for example, according to scriptures, in a feast, the firsts who should be served are the sages, the guests, the kids, the pregnant women, and the daughter-in-law); and according to the Atharva Veda, as we can see in this example, women should guide the family in general.
From the Rg Veda also, we have:
I am the banner
I am the head
I possess excellent eloquence;
My husband co-operates with me
And follows my will.

I don’t know much ready the so-called traditional people from India or the so-called followers of vedic culture are to follow… vedic culture!
I am also not preaching some kind of old feminism. But as I always like to remember, Shiva and Parvati are half and half of the same body. And it is half of each side, not superior half and inferior half.